A Formidable Adversary
by Myske
Summary: A post Marriage Law fic. The Ministry have finally decided to repeal their Marriage Law, all that's left is for Hermione and Severus to divvy up their belonging, but that may be more difficult to decide than anyone had anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

**A Formidable Adversary**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was abuzz with excitement as Severus and Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast in companionable silence. As they proceeded to the Head Table a nervous hush fell over the school. Severus quirked an eyebrow and Hermione minutely shook her head, indicating her ignorance. They took seats next to Minerva, who was obviously failing at her attempt to hide her excitement.

"Have you heard the news?" Severus and Hermione looked at one another and then back at the Transfiguration Professor expectantly. "The Law's been repealed."

"Finally!" Severus and Hermione gushed together. They looked at each other once more before Severus smirked at Hermione dissolved into laughter.

"Well," Minerva continued, "we should hear more of it in this morning's _Prophet_."

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

After the defeat of Voldemort, the wizarding world had found itself in danger of falling into stagnation and disrepair. The truth was that witches and wizards who had gone through the war without significant sexual relationships then proceeded to continue without them in the aftermath. Instead of an age of renewal and vigour, what followed were five years of rapidly declining marriages and birth rates. Even Hogwarts itself was not unaffected, Minerva had commented many a time on the declining number of names on the Hogwarts selection lists, and many smaller 'Schools of Magic' in Britain were closing their doors. Moreover, it was clear that although light had triumphed over darkness, tolerance and acceptance for muggleborns was still at the bottom rung of priorities within many pureblooded circles, and this looked unlikely to be affected.

The new Minister for Magic, Nigel Goodweather, had decided to tackle the two issues with one solution. Single wizards and witches between the ages of twenty and sixty five were systematically put through a protracted series of intelligence and personality tests, which the Ministry then used to calculate the best matches for each individual. Although muggleborns were not required to marry into only pureblooded families they were strongly discouraged from attempting to marry other muggleborns. It was all in the name of building tolerance and acceptance in the wizarding world after all.

Having had expected to marry each other, Ron and Hermione were disappointed to learn that the Ministry had rejected their plan.

"We want you both to develop wider links in the wizarding world," Minister Goodweather had said. In the end Ron had no choice but to accept the hand of Millicent Bulstrode that Arthur had petitioned for him.

"Our two families have been estranged for far too long. It is time for reconciliation." Arthur had stated quite firmly. Although at the time it obviously had not given Ron any satisfaction, a set of triplets between them and the eventual overcoming of inter house prejudices had seen Ron and Millicent grow into an able partnership. It also didn't hurt that they had enough family members between them to use as babysitters and the fact that they shared the same wild obsession for the Chudley Cannons ensured a favourable outcome.

That event however, left Hermione high and dry. In the end her options had been reduced to Draco Malfoy, Michael Corner and Severus Snape. By the time that Hermione had deigned it worth the effort to make a choice Draco Malfoy had already wed Lavender Brown in a lavish affair. Ginny had warned Hermione against Michael's obscene grabbing and that had left Severus Snape as the only choice, and it was a disinterested choice at best.

Bill and Jean Granger had been a little perplexed but nevertheless accepted their daughter's decision and attended the small wedding party. It was a drawn out event, with both the bride and groom attempting to out drink the other and delay the inevitable consummation; which when it occurred was a drunken fest of clumsiness.

Although they were not required by the Law to shag each other every other day, they did have to share the same living spaces, and through that closeness, Hermione and Severus managed to develop a tenuous friendship. Hermione moved into the castle and took over the teaching of Potions when Severus decided that he would retain the Headmaster position. The castle had accepted him after all.

That had been two years ago. Every three months since their marriage a ministry official, and once six months ago the Minister himself, had come to the castle to enquire after them and to encourage the recalcitrant couple to conceive. To these entreaties they both exclaimed that they were trying as hard as was possible, given their circumstances. The truth was obviously the complete reverse, but they were war heroes and the Ministry were not about to indite them on the spurious and unproven assumption that they were not having sex. It was through that way that they managed to continue happily, hoping that the Ministry would come to its senses within their lifetime and allow them to dissolve their union. They were in agreement that they would remain close friends, but it would be better without the feeling of unfairness of circumstances on each side.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

So, that morning, although they were eagerly awaiting the delivery of the _Prophet_, Severus and Hermione breakfasted at the Head table and softly discussed a new article in _Potente Discourse_ about three new applications for the heart of the Gurdyroot. Every so often they would glance at the entrances to the Great Hall looking out for signs of the owls delivering the post. They were pleased and relieved that the Law was finally drawing its last breath but they were also wary. For the past two years the Ministry had taken hammers and tongs into the implementation of the Law. That the Ministry wanted to pursue the lofty goals that it had set was undeniable and even now it was unlikely that the Ministry would allow existing unions to be dissolved with ease. Still, they agreed that it would be entertaining to skirt through the loopholes together and bring their marriage to a congenial conclusion.

Hermione and Severus sipped their teas just as a flurry of owls could be seen, heard and smelled entering the Great Hall with their packages. They both grinned as they reached for their copy of the _Prophet_ which had landed quite unceremoniously in Severus' oatmeal. The delivery owl, on the other hand, was helping itself to Hermione's porridge, unconcerned about its soggy delivery and Severus' baleful glare. After it had had its fill of Hermione's breakfast and tucked away its payment in a small leather pouch it took flight, making sure to overturn Severus' oatmeal into his lap. A happy hoot was the only evidence that it was cognisant of its action.

"You deserved it you know. That's the one you fried last year. Shall we retreat to our rooms and make what we will of the _Prophet_?"

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Severus and Hermione ignored the looks that were cast their way as they made their exit. When they reached the doors Severus made a show out of holding the door for her to pass through.

"Aren't you glad that once we're through with this law you will no longer have to do this?" Hermione said as she slipped under his arm.

"I would do it for you anyway my dear; you'd just have to watch out that the door didn't hit you on the way out."

"You're going to be that heart broken when we split? I'm touched." Hermione clasped her hands together in a mock gesture of thoughtfulness. Severus rolled his eyes and gently nudged her to go faster toward their quarters.

"You have a class in thirty minutes. Do you want to know how we're going to settle this, or are you willing to let me decide on the half that I want to keep?" Hermione gave him a disbelieving look and took off at an even brisker stride.

They never made it to their quarters. When they trudged up the stairs into the Headmasters' office they were both surprised to find the figure of Kingsley Shacklebolt reclining in a soft armchair. He greeted them as they stepped off the stairs and into the office.

"What brings you here my friend." Severus offered.

"The end of the Marriage Law, of course. You have heard right?" The Auror looked at them inquisitively. Hermione waved their copy of the _Daily Prophet_ signalling that they had. "Well I guess you'd like to hear the Ministry's terms right out of the horse's mouth?" Hermione and Severus glanced quickly at each other, then focussed their attentions back onto Kingsley.

"We were under the impression that the _Prophet_ was the 'horse's mouth'." Hermione quirked an eyebrow at Kingsley who offered her a smile.

"You know, it's no secret that the two of you aren't exactly carrying out the objectives of the Ministry."

"What's that got to do with anything? Are they really going to hold us to that shambles of a law until we fulfil their desires? That would be a travesty! Surely you cannot condone that Kingsley." Severus growled.

"You're war heroes, you two, they're not going to throw you into Azkaban, you'd just get a lot of unwanted attention and bad press is all. I'm just saying that you might want to listen to what I have to say before you rush into a decision." He waited for the couple to calm down somewhat at gestured for them to take their seats before he began again. "When I heard about the dissolution of the law, the first couple I thought of was you two." Severus made a move to interrupt but was stopped by Hermione's hand waving for him to desist.

"As I was saying; when I heard of the dissolution, you two immediately came to mind. It is obvious that your match, though mostly amicable was not of the sort that was furthering the intentions of the ministry. So, I came to see you as soon as I could to inform you that I could get the ball rolling for the two of you to split."

"That's great, where do we sign?" Hermione piped up. She earned a glare from Severus.

"That eager to be rid of the old bat are we?" He snarled.

"Don't start that tone with me mister; just ten minutes ago you were threatening to take all my things."

"Half, I said half!" Hermione rolled her eyes, Kingsley brought out some documents and laid them on the Headmasters' desk.

"Well, it's obvious that any moneys acquired between the two of you will be divided evenly, then there comes to the point of assets, will you sell them off and split the proceeds or will you divvy them up between the two of you?" Severus and Hermione looked at one another. "Well what material assets do you actually have between the two of you? Muggles have things like cars, houses and pets, what about you?" Kingsley started to look a little bit impatient as he looked between Severus and Hermione, who were both trying to coherently list the things that they shared with one another.

"Crookshanks – " Hermione started.

"Keep the little git; our rooms, our library and the stores. That's the important stuff. Worth a gully of galleons too."

"You can keep the rooms, they're too bright for my liking anyway. I'd like to move into closer to Gryffindor Tower too. Also, since I am the Potions Mistress I think I should have the stores, oh, and you can keep the money, I'll trade that for the library, after all, I have made the largest most recent additions."

"So that's it, you just keep everything then. Well, I don't think so. If you want those ruddy books I'm keeping the stores, you can use your share of the money to replace them for your teaching, there are a lot of ingredients in there that you'll never use for teaching at Hogwarts."

"No, that won't do, we're in the middle of a school term, how do you expect me to restock for the entire student body? It's a Monday morning for crying out loud! Even you could not be that unreasonable."

"Keep the potions stores then, I'll keep the books, after all they're already in 'my' rooms, which would be ever more of a convenience." Hermione gaped.

"No! That's not fair, I've marked some of the books in there for further study, they've got interesting chapters in them!"

"You MARKED my books?! How could you? Are you mad?" Severus bellowed. Kingsley had had enough. He cleared his throat and waited for the feuding couple to slow their breathing.

"It is clear to me that the potions stores and the books are a point of contention between the two of you. Might I suggest that you sell these and split the proceeds?" That earned him a gape and a deadly glare. "Well, I see that that's not going to work, how about you split them evenly, fifty fifty?" This time two glares.

"We would never be able to decide who got which half. And I would hate to break up collections."

"I agree with Severus, one of us will take the money and the other will take the stores and the books."

"And which one of you will take which?" Hermione and Severus looked at each other. It was clear that neither of them cared about the money.

"What would it take to be the party which got to pick the half?" Hermione looked at Kingsley inquisitively. He raised an eyebrow. When he had left the Ministry this morning to inform the both of them he had thought that the whole matter would be sorted out in moments. Hermione would take the stores to teach from and Severus the books which he was now at leisure to pore over. Well, either that or they would get into a row and donate the lot to the school so the both of them could continue to access both.

"Well, you would have to convince the other party to relinquish the right. And you cannot be at fault; that would nullify your claim to choose of course." Severus and Hermione looked at one another, plans forming in both their minds.

"I had best be off to my first lesson of the day, third years, you know how frisky they can be if I'm not there right away. We'll talk about this later my dear. Will you walk me to my class Kingsley?" Hermione held out her arm and Kingsley looped his arm into her proffered one. But Kingsley had not finished saying his piece.

"I'll start your paperwork now, but let me have your decision by the beginning of next week, that way you two can be first." He said as he accompanied Hermione out of the office and down the spiral staircase.

Hermione walked with Kingsley to the Great Entrance where he kissed her briefly on the cheek before exiting before making his own way towards the outer gates of Hogwarts. Hermione turned to walk toward her third years' potions class when she felt a hand clamp around her upper arm.

"Well, there's infidelity right there." Hermione smiled guilelessly at Severus' nonchalant demeanour.

"You know it wasn't. You're going to have to do a lot better than that to get me to relinquish my right." Hermione huffed and turned away, continuing to walk toward her first lesson.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

As Severus returned to his office with a thoughtful expression on his face Hermione approached her third years and put her plan into action. If she were following some exaggerated school policies there was no way he could hold her responsible. After all, she was doing her best to follow the rules. Her students noticed the glint in her eye and silently vowed that they would not put any toes out of line during their double potions lesson. Hermione calmly opened the door and ushered in her students, who to her satisfaction were acting very tense.

After giving them a brief lecture on the importance of time management in the field of potions she began to set a task that she knew was beyond the level of most of her students. The fact that it was a mildly volatile concoction when brewed incorrectly or too hastily was also not beyond her notice. Hermione passed around vials of a sweet green potion for the students to swallow.

"Well, that should give you some incentive to stay on task." She smiled as she put up the required ingredients and method to brewing the Epidermis Restoris potion. The third years were a little confused at first but as she heard a few of them gasp and giggle she knew that they were beginning to understand the concept of this lesson. She turned to look at them all and had to suppress a giggle of her own as all the third years were differing hues of blue and green. "What are you waiting for? It's the antidote you're brewing. Do you want to stay green and blue all day?" With that comment hanging in the air, half the students hurried off to collect their cauldrons and ingredients whilst the other half diligently copied the notes.

Hermione allowed herself a small grin, pleased that she had planned this lesson before realising that she needed some way to taunt Severus into divorcing her on her terms. She retreated to her desk and started slicing up several pieces of parchment. After she had done so she started writing messages onto them that she intended to send to Severus. Things such as 'don't be cruel take the money', 'I do a lot of research that may involve those tomes', and 'if you don't submit it will only get more aggravating from here on in', appeared many times over. Once she had filled out all the slips she returned her attention to her class.

At this time, she thought, they would be nearing the point where the potion could become quite explosive. She glanced at each one of the pairs quite gleefully, willing someone to add an ingredient too quickly or to stir the wrong way. No one seemed to budge, so she did the sneaky thing and stared intently at one pair, willing them to look up at her. At length they did, Hermione held their gaze, ticking off the seconds in her head. She noticed the beads of perspiration on the students' foreheads as they struggled to look away from her. She smiled at them just as they realised it was too late to save their potion. A small 'poof' and the contents of their failed potion covered the pair. It was true that the messy grey gloop that had landed on the both of them was not going to endanger their health in any way but Madam Pomfrey was not where Hermione intended to send them.

"Right, you two, Mr. Saffron, Miss Karn, off to explain to the Headmaster why two third years could not manage a simple skin colour potion. And take this with you." She mumbled a spell over the slip as she folded it up and handed it over to Miss Karn. They seemed hesitant as she waved them out the door. If anything, the remaining students became even tenser. Hermione smiled, it was only thirty minutes into the lesson, and she expected that at this rate Severus would be receiving many more student visitors throughout the day. She took another look around the class but the students seemed to be over that first hurdle of exploding gloop.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

"Dunderheads." The two students uttered miserably as they reached the stone gargoyle at the foot of the Headmaster's office. It groaned as it opened up and allowed them entrance.

They entered the office to meet a surly Headmaster, who had clearly not been expecting any visitors.

"State your business and get out." He growled.

"We came from Potions. We blew up our experiment and Professor Snape sent us to explain to you." Mr. Saffron said timidly.

"Is that all?"

"No, she also sent you this note." Miss Karn handed it over to Severus nervously.

"You may leave." He waved them out the door, as he opened the note and read its contents. The two students thought that they could hear him chuckle but the concept of it was so horrifying that if pressed they would say that they weren't sure.

As the two of them returned to their class another pair of green and blue students exited.

"What did you do to get sent out?" Karn asked.

"She's insane this morning; she was standing right behind me breathing down my neck. I dropped the glass stirrer onto the floor and surprise it broke. We're off to see Headmaster Snape to explain ourselves. Got a note and everything." The blue one huffed and they continued in their opposite directions.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Back in the Headmasters' office Severus gasped in surprise as Hermione's missive ripped itself to shreds moments after he had read it.

"Well, two can play at this, my dear Hermione." He muttered. He went to his bureau and pulled out a few pieces of parchment which he intended to slice up and send right back to her. Before he could get started though the gargoyle had admitted another pair of students.

"Give me that note and get out!" The students hurried to comply and all but darted out of his office again. He'd be damned if he was going to read this missive. It seemed to him that Hermione had charmed them to self destruct upon his reading them so as to leave no evidence. He would not fall for that again. He left the note on the end of his desk and proceeded to slice up little bits of note paper for himself. On them he wrote messages such as a bold 'No!', 'you're young and have years to collect', and 'I'll leave them to you in my will'.

He chuckled as he thought of the indignation that would cross her face when she received each of them. He quickly put a charm on each of them that would cause them to self destruct five minutes after she had handled them. After all her reading it would be a bonus, the important thing was that no trail of evidence would be left. Unlike Hermione, he didn't count on her reading the missives, and that was where she had failed. But before the thought was allowed to criss cross his mind a few more times the missive she had sent to him burst into flame and consumed itself.

Before the flames had been fully extinguished another green student was standing in his office, gingerly holding onto a piece of parchment.

"Hand over the note and get out." Severus growled. But this time instead of gratefully handing over the parchment and leaving his office the student stood there nervously. Severus gave him a look which clearly asked for an explanation. When it did not appear forthcoming he added a quirked eyebrow into the equation.

"Professor Snape insisted that I received a punishment for my behaviour before returning to her lesson."

"What did you do, attack her?"

"No," the green student began timidly, "I laughed out of turn." Severus looked at the crest on the boy's school robe, Slytherin house. He grumbled.

"One point from Slytherin, now get out! No, stop, take this back with you." They exchanged notes and once the boy was safely out of his office Severus opened the missive. He was quite glad that he had opened it once the boy had left, for when he did open it a wisp of smoke was emitted, it then quickly took the form of a ghostly Hermione and screamed its message at him before bursting into flames once more.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Back in Hermione's class room the students were becoming terrified and confused. Never before had they been sent to the Headmaster for such minor mishaps, there was obviously something going on between the Headmaster and their Potions professor, they were just unlucky enough to be caught in the middle.

Although it was disruptive Hermione was persistent in her attack on Severus' privacy. Streams of students were coming and going from her classroom and the Headmaster's office carrying notes to and from. By the end of her double lesson with the third years only two pairs had managed to complete the antidote successfully enough to pass onto their classmates. Unfortunately, because there had only been two batches completed, this left half the class wondering the halls in hues of blue and green waiting for her potion to wear off.

The day continued with more and taunting messages being sent between the Potions mistress and the Headmaster but both had refused to budge. Excuses on Hermione's side to send students out were becoming more specious and absurd and on Severus' side the point deductions were being replaced with more asinine punishments.

By the time it was dinner Hermione and Severus were exhausted. They slumped into their chairs and ate their respective dinners, ignoring all the glances they received from students and staff alike. After dinner as they headed into their quarters Severus turned on Hermione.

"Is this to continue tomorrow?"

"Yes, unless you want to give in now." She looked at him with a twinkle in her eye.

"Not a chance. I was a spy you know; I do have a modicum of patience."

"Yes, but I spent all my adolescent years with Harry Potter and the entire Weasley clan. You can't beat that." She gave him a light kiss on the cheek as was her custom and ducked into the bathroom.

________________________________________________________________________

_The next act, where the games begin will be posted within the week._

_A/N: Let me know what you think, please review. I'll even promise to respond ;)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: See Bio._

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I know that I promised this chapter for earlier in the week, but I lied. I didn't mean to but I did. I know, I'm a bad person._

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**A Formidable Adversary**

Act Two – In Action

Breakfast was another tense event for the entire school body, however, Severus and Hermione seemed to be unaffected. Like every other day, they walked side by side, congenially, to the High Table, where they took their usual seats and greeted their peers in the usual manner.

"Have you two sorted everything out then?" Minerva asked.

"We're getting there," Hermione offered before beginning her breakfast. "These things take time."

The two Snapes ate their breakfasts calmly, making light conversation intermittently and commenting on the general unease of the student body. Every so often they would look out toward the house tables and find that students would quickly engage others' eye contact or look away entirely.

"I think refusing to make eye contact with me today may be an offence worthy of being sent to the Headmaster. Don't you agree, my dear?" Hermione smiled sweetly and Severus rolled his eyes.

"And here I was thinking that Terry Hollworth's crooked tie, from yesterday, was preposterous. I think, my dear, you have sunk to a new low."

"You could end it right now Severus, and you know it. Just take the money."

"No, you know it would never work out that way. Plus, to give in by Tuesday morning, it would hardly be befitting of the consummate Slytherin, now would it?"

"No, but I hope you don't expect me to give in so easily either." Hermione had one last gulp of her tea and pushed her chair back so that she could get up, making sure that it made an extra screechy sound, just the type that Severus hated. He was undeterred though, and as she made to leave, he placed a vial filled with a clear liquid on the table. "What's that?" Hermione hissed and sat down.

"Forfeit your claim and you can have the antidote."

"You are impossible, you know."

"Are you feeling slightly panicked my dear, that's the effect of the poison, you know. Perhaps I don't even want to give you the antidote, that way I can keep the whole lot." Severus waited for Hermione's answer. He quirked an imperceptible grin, which quickly turned into a grimace of horror as Hermione thrust her hands into the left-hand-side pocket of his robe, which caused him to gasp and struggle. She smiled when she finally pulled her hand out and laid a small stone on the table. Severus sneered his worst at her, and she smiled.

"A bezoar, hmm, should I swallow it now, or should I perform a diagnostic charm to show that you are only having me on. I can't believe that you had all night and that's what you came up with. Your attempts to frighten me are not going to work, Severus Snape." With that Hermione got up and left the High Table. After all, she had a whole day of Severus Snape baiting ahead of her.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Hermione sat in her classroom and seethed. She didn't care about the money; she had plenty of time and skill to accumulate more, but the books and the ingredients, well, some of them she would never again hope to come across in her life time. She settled down and continued to write missives for Severus. However, these were longer and filled with promises that she would allow him limited access to the stores and the books, if he promised them over to her.

She was aware that he would never agree to only limited access, but that was a point where they could start negotiations, surely. By the time her first class of seventh-years had walked in, she had accumulated a tidy stack of missives that she had yet to charm. Sitting next to them was a list of creative enchantments that she was going to place on them. Hermione was convinced that a paper trail would mean death to her mission, so each one was set to self destruct after a period of time. Not even a stasis charm was enough to hold them indefinitely, and come Monday, when Kingsley made his final visit, there would be no evidence left to reveal her guilt.

The only thing that Severus could cite, would be the annoyance and disruption caused by her vendetta against him, but he had retaliated with his fair share of exploding missives and so they were equals, if there were any blame to be shared.

The seventh-years smiled at her nervously as they took their seats and began their assignments. Hermione smiled at the thought of their individual projects. No sooner had they begun than had Hermione started to send them out, one by one, each with a charmed message for the Headmaster and the instruction to run him through the fascinating personal projects that they were completing in potions, complete with explanations of theoretical frameworks.

Each one of them balked. This would mean that each would be spending a lot more than ten minutes in the Headmasters' office with Snape as he growled at them and they attempted to explain their work. Even though it was a double, students were willing as hard as they could to fly under her radar and not be sent away.

Most of them were saved, however, as fifteen minutes towards the end of the lesson an irate and fuming Headmaster stormed into the potions classroom. Hermione was the only person who remained calm. In fact, it could be said that she was feeling some excited energy, perhaps her strategy had worked after all.

"Get. Out!" Severus bellowed, indicating toward the students, who scrambled over each other to collect their book bags and rush through the doors and into the quad. After the last of the students had left, Severus slammed the door shut and rounded on Hermione. "What on Earth do you think you are playing at?!" He seethed.

"Do you give up, Severus; I've got a whole class of fifth-years after lunch, all with exciting O.W.L.s experiments that are waiting for your approval and your input." Severus continued to glower and within a few menacing steps forced her back against her desk. "Do you want to push me around a little, Severus, that could really help my case." She smiled again and Severus clenched and unclenched his fists with rage.

"No more students, Hermione." He whispered in her ear.

"Just let me choose, Severus, and all this will be over."

Severus leaned even closer to her.

"You always had the right to choose," he paused at her smile. "So long as your choice was the money." He smiled as he felt her face fall and proceeded to stalk out of her room and towards the Entrance Hall. It was time for him to be out of the castle. Any more inane discussions from seventh-years and sundry would definitely drive him over the edge and lose him his collections.

Hermione knew that Severus had left the castle; after all, the Marauders' Map was lying open in the top drawer of her desk. She smiled as she went over her planner to see what her last lesson was brewing. To the relief of the students, no more of them were sent to the Headmaster with suspicious notes. They foolishly imagined that the dispute between the two Snapes had come to an end.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Dinner appeared to be an unspectacular event. Severus sat in the Headmasters' seat, Hermione to the right of him and Minerva to the left. Although Hermione and Severus ate their dinners, each determined not to look at the other, Minerva continuously shot nervous glances at them.

"What is it?" Snape snapped. Minerva obviously did not like the tone and her face affixed itself into a stern countenance.

"Your tone, young man."

"Well, you're obviously not staring at me because of my tone, now spit it out."

"Tactful as always, Severus. I was just wondering if the two of you had sorted it out yet." Severus glared at her; it was clear in his expression that he thought it was none of the older witch's business. Hermione, on the other hand, smiled at her indulgently.

"Thanks for your concern, Minerva, we're working on it, I'm sure we can come to an agreement by the time Kingsley comes for our answer, on Monday." Minerva smiled back at Hermione before casting Severus another stern look.

"I don't know why you don't just donate the whole lot to the school, that way both of you can have equal access." Two baleful glares were cast in Minerva's direction.

"She has her whole life to start a collection, I'm an old man, and they're rightfully mine!" Severus hissed. Hermione was undeterred.

"Here we go with the 'decrepit old man' routine again. For the love of Merlin's withered backside, you're barely middle-aged." Hermione cried, exasperated. He might have nearly twenty two years on her, but she'd be darned if she let that sneaky Slytherin husband of hers use it to his advantage. She'd seen him doing many a spry thing, which would indicate that he was more than likely, able to go collecting on his own. Plus between his time yelling at the school governors and bossing everyone else around, he needed a hobby; even Dumbledore had his meddling after all.

"There are probably wizards out there falling over themselves to donate their collections to you, you don't need mine too. That would just be Gryffindor greed." Severus sneered; Hermione seethed.

"One of the reasons why our library is so full, is because of those wizards, and since they gave their collections to me, thereby completing many of your half-baked volumes, I should get to keep them. It's only fair." Hermione huffed a very unladylike huff and got up to leave.

"No more students in my office tomorrow, if you please." Severus added conversationally.

"Whatever." Hermione muttered, and then stalked off. The students' eyes followed her out and a bout of whispering began. It was clear that whatever proceedings were going on between the two Snapes, was not yet over. Many of them were wondering if it was too late to order in batches of the Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes' Puking Pastilles.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Hermione retired to their chambers, flustered and frustrated, cursing Severus' name the entire way through her nightly ablutions. She sat in her bed and looked over at his empty one and allowed a chuckle to escape. Although eight o'clock seemed a little bit early to be going to bed, she lay down anyway; she was determined to leave the next morning, before Severus awoke. With that thought in mind she fell into a restful slumber. If Severus was confused at the smile on her sleeping face, he didn't wake her up to ask her about it, when he went to bed that night.

In the morning Hermione sat at her place at the High Table, trying and failing to suppress a grin. She was the first one there this morning and she was pleased for it, it would give her time to school her features into one of calm disinterestedness.

In a short while, the rest of the staff and students had arrived for breakfast and taken their seats, but Severus had yet to make an appearance. Minerva leaned over to Hermione.

"You know, I saw that vial last night. Did you poison the poor man?" She raised an eyebrow, indicating that she expected a truthful answer. Hermione looked back innocently. "Well, what did you do to him? He's never this late to breakfast."

"For Severus Snape, a fate worse than death," Hermione allowed herself a grin, which she quickly withdrew as the fuming figure of Headmaster Snape was spotted at the Entrance to the Great Hall.

"Ah, public humiliation. Well, I'll start searching for your body after breakfast, then."

Severus stalked ever more menacingly towards the High Table, and took his seat, all the while glaring daggers at Hermione.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He hissed.

"My dear, you don't look yourself this morning. Are you ill?"

"I'm bald, you nitwit!"

"And yet, still greasy; some things never change."

"How could you do this to me, you uncaring wench? I have an image to uphold!"

"And with all our money, you could buy a nice wig to help uphold that image, wouldn't you agree? O, look at the time, I have a class to teach. No students today, I promise." Hermione smiled and tapped him on the nose, before taking her leave. The students and professors, who had been looking over furtively during their exchange, all suddenly found interesting details in the stones of the building, that they hadn't noticed before. Severus pointed his wand at Hermione from under the table and wordlessly cast a spell.

Hermione walked out of the Hall, without a care in the world. She was assured that there were only so many hours of baldness that Severus could take, before he demanded the antidote and acquiesced to her wishes. On the issue of baldness, her chin was feeling a little bit itchier than was usual.

The fact was that, the more she thought about it, the more it itched. She knew that Severus was behind it, but she also knew better than to itch an itch. She changed direction and headed toward the infirmary. Poppy smiled as she entered.

"I have an itch, I though you might be able to help me with it."

"Um, dear, well here's your problem," Poppy charmed a mirror to glide in front of Hermione's face. Hermione screamed and the mirror shattered on the floor. "There's no need for that, there are sleeping patients in here, Professor Snape." She snapped, banishing the shards of glass. Just that moment, Severus came through the door, a wide grin on is bald face.

"Dear, I came as soon as I heard; you've really let yourself go." He drawled.

"Well, don't the two of you make quite a pair; one's got no hair and the other too much. You could shave your beard off for Severus, my dear girl." Poppy smiled.

"No thanks, I won't be wearing that monstrosity on my head."

"I wouldn't let it near your greasy head anyway!" Hermione yelled. Eliciting a hard look from Poppy and the promise of another lecture. Seeing that Hermione was in her current predicament because of the debacle between the pair, she shooed both of them out of her infirmary and into the hallway, before closing the door on them.

"I hope you don't let your, er, predicament keep you from teaching today, my dear. That would be unacceptable for a teacher at Hogwarts." He sneered.

A fat tear rolled down Hermione's cheek. Severus' expression turned to one of concern, as he brushed it off with his thumb.

"O, come, you make me bald, but some extra hair and you turn on the waterworks, Hermione? It's not permanent, if that helps." Hermione took a deep breath and wiped another tear away; she turned away from him and headed back toward her class. Severus made to follow her but decided against it; after all he didn't want to promise her his belongings, in a fit of guilt.

Needless to say, Hermione's classes were shocked that their Potions Mistress had decided to grow a bushy beard, between leaving for breakfast and turning up to their class. Cleverly though, no one made a single comment and everyone carried on as if she didn't now have two birds' nests, growing out of both ends of her head.

By the time they headed to lunch, Hermione's beard had begun to shed, but it was clear that she was extremely distraught. Still, no one dared to look at her, or engage her in any sort of conversation. Her afternoon classes were full of students who were trying to inconspicuously pull out her hair from their potions experiments. Many an experiment was ruined, but no one dared blame her. Making her angry was one thing, but causing her to become more distraught, could lead to the finding of bits of them all over the school.

At the arrival of dinner time, the last remnants of Hermione's beard were falling from her face and Severus' hair was halfway to being at its previous length. Severus looked at Hermione questioningly.

"Now that it's gone, I miss its warmth."

"I could jinx you again, if you like." Hermione's expression darkened. "Or not." Severus added quickly, putting his wand away and tucking into his dinner. "Taught you a lesson though." Hermione didn't answer him.

For the both of them, dinner was a silent affair. Hermione was still mortified that she had had to sport a beard for the entire day, and although Severus felt guilty, he was sure that he now had the upper hand. He supposed that they could rekindle their friendship after the affair was settled in his favour. He started thinking about what he could do to her tomorrow, to clinch the deal in his favour.

That night, the two of them headed up to bed in silence. There was no friendly peck on the cheek, only a half hearted 'g'night' from Hermione.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Severus sat in his office with a fleeting expression of guilt mired in his eyes. He had hurt Hermione the day before, and had yet to even apologise. He had thought hard about apologising to her, but he supposed he could do that after he won their little disagreement. Plus, he'd already summoned Filius, and it seemed to be the height of rudeness to send the little man doddering on his way, after he'd so dutifully answered his beckon.

Filius braced himself on the frame of the door to Severus' office and puffed. He came as fast as he could, fearing that perhaps a bout of cursing had taken place between the Headmaster and one of his favourite alumni. Severus held out an envelope for him, and he hesitated before taking it.

"A Howler, Severus? I hardly think the girl's done anything to warrant one."

"It's time to end this. Surely you realise how disruptive our display has been." Filius nodded slightly and crinkled his eyes. "Just make sure it gets to her, and open it for her, if she refuses."

Filius left the Headmasters' office and clambered down the stairs as gracefully and quickly as he could, for a creature of his age and stature. He paused at the bottom to catch his breath and petted the stone gargoyle, before hurrying on his way. He held the envelope away from him and cheerfully muttered about the injustice of sending him to do an owl's work.

He reached his destination and sighed with relief, the envelope was now warm to the touch, and slightly jittery. Thankfully, Hermione was having another group of her seventh-years this morning, all of whom were familiar with, and had probably received a few Howlers, in their careers as students. Filius knocked on the door and hearing Hermione's assent, walked in and slapped the envelope down on the desk in front of her. She looked at him in shock and he nudged it ever slightly closer to her.

"From the Headmaster. Please open it dear, you know what happens."

"But I'm in the middle of a class!" Hermione hissed, blushing. Filius sighed and reached for the envelope, Hermione determinedly tore it from his grasp and tried to shove it into her desk drawer, but their scuffle tore the seal and as the lips of the envelope formed, she flung it away from her, in horror.

Severus Snape's voice bellowed; all the attention in the room was focussed on what it had to say, well, yell.

"Hermione Snape! I have changed my mind! You are my wife and so help me Merlin, you will start behaving like it! Long, have I waited for you to produce some sort of offspring for me, and equally long, you have denied me! I have let you play your little games ad nauseam and now. I demand satisfaction! Madam you will not deny me! So, unless you decide to walk away from our union, we will be engaging in the production of some Snape progeny; good day!"

Everyone in the room continued in stunned silence, until the letter had torn itself to shreds and exploded into flames. Hermione screamed in frustration and Filius closed the door silently, and turned back towards her.

"Sit down, my dear." Filius ushered Hermione into her chair and she looked blankly out into the room.

"I've lost. I'm not making a baby with that man, to prove a point." Filius gave her a hard look and he glanced, disappointedly, at the students.

"Look at you lot. Seventh-years, the brains of the school, and you're cowering instead of offering your clever brains as aids." Hermione looked at Filius, fleetingly wondering, if he wanted her to hurl the brains of students at Severus. "I want to see you win Hermione, you have to match fire with fire." Filius whispered. He looked at the students again before turning back to her. "Up the ante. He wants a child; make sure he cannot complete the required task. That, or find a substitute for him." Filius winked at her conspiratorially, opened the door and headed out into the hallway.

Before he made it back to his own office, Severus cornered him.

"How did it go? Did she take it well?"

"She was delighted." Filius smiled and pretended that that was the answer that Severus had expected all along. His smile grew even wider, when Severus' face darkened, and he barely managed to keep in his laughter until he reached the privacy of his own office.

Severus stormed back to his office and stomped around the room, in what could very loosely be termed, pacing. He had been so sure that the overbearing and demanding nature of the letter would be enough to set off her Gryffindorish sensibilities, and send her into a rage. Severus panicked, wondering what he would do if she thought he was serious in his desire to produce offspring. He 'paced' around some more and headed down to lunch, to assess the situation.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Hermione grinned, as she followed her seventh-years into the Great Hall for lunch. She could see Severus at the High Table, scowl in place. She sat down next to him and started on her lunch, as if nothing were amiss; she even asked him an innocent question about the latest issue of _Potion Masters' Amor_, without looking him full in the face. All the while, Severus seethed and inwardly panicked ever so slightly.

"Did you get my message?"

"That children are forecast in our immediate future?" Severus quirked an eyebrow and nodded slightly.

"You don't seem distressed." Hermione shook her head, to indicate a negative.

"Severus Snape, you will have to do a lot better than that, if you wish to frighten me," she smiled at him.

"I was perfectly serious in my assertion Hermione," Severus tried to muster a combination of the most sincere and austere expression that he could. Luckily his facial muscles complied, and he succeeded. Hermione blushed slightly and lowered her fork. She glanced quickly over at Filius, who was silently egging her on, behind Severus. She moved ever so slightly closer to Severus, who had to force himself to remain still and not back away from her in defeat.

"I'd be helping you make babies now, if it weren't for another class after lunch. Sixth-years, you know how to them, every displaced hair is an indication of some sort of sexual indiscretion." Hermione leaned even closer and let out a soft moan. "Or, you could get someone to cover my afternoon. We don't even have to finish lunch, you know." Severus flinched and Hermione smiled to herself. This was going to be easier than she thought.

Severus coughed and cleared his throat.

"Hermione, you are the wife of the Headmaster, it would not do, to have you skiving off classes. What would the governors say?"

"Nice recovery, Severus. But, I think if the governors could add another name to the lists, they'd be more than happy to give us the afternoon off," with that, she quickly pecked him on the nose. Severus got up abruptly, leaving Hermione reeling in her seat.

"You know how I feel about public displays." He said quietly and turned to leave. Filius leaned over the Headmasters' chair, towards Hermione.

"I think that went well, now you'll only have to wait to see if he carries off his threat at the end of the evening." Hermione gulped, she hadn't actually thought that far ahead. If Severus pushed her, there was no way that she could decline, as that would be construed as her unwillingness to carry out her end of the Ministry's deal, thereby negating her ability to claim what she thought was rightfully hers.

"Should I get some drinks into me, then?" Filius shook his head.

"You will not at any stage, imbibe any sort of alcoholic beverage, Hermione. Stay lucid, you're trying to throw him off, aren't you? If so, you'll need your wits about you."

"What am I supposed to do? It's not like I can charm myself to smell so badly that he won't come close, or anything like that. He'd just magic it away." Hermione chewed her bottom lip.

"Relax, my dear. As they say, 'go with the flow'. All you have to do is tease him, act a little gauche." Hermione looked at him quizzically. He sighed, he would have to spell it out after all. "If he suggests that he wants to get down to business, declare your desire for romance. If he's got a poem, tell him you need him to talk dirty; sidetrack him. Random exposition about these offspring, that he seems so keen on producing, wouldn't hinder your aims either. Need I go on?" Hermione laughed, and if the Headmaster's chair wasn't so large, she would have reached over to embrace Filius.

Hermione excused herself, to go and prepare the classroom for her next lesson and think about the things that she could do to irk Severus. While it was true that she didn't have much sexual experience when it came to him, she was sure that with a bit of creativity, she could rile him up to the desired point. She was thinking that perhaps she could antagonise his hatred of public displays, by suggesting a voyeuristic tryst through the castle, when her sixth-years noisily organised themselves outside her door. She allowed herself one last chuckle, before ushering them inside.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

The rest of the day progressed without any worthy mention. A first-year melted a cauldron during the last lesson of the day, but that was to be expected. She had been sorely tempted to send him to Severus, but the gas that resulted had caused the student's teeth to become invisible, and she had thought it punishment enough.

Hermione was glad that she had taken even more care at being organised and timely, because her borderline obsessive compulsive organisation, had paid off. With the time she was able to spare, where she would usually fill with more organising, she managed to send a note to Hogsmeade, to someone, whose help she thought she might require, if tonight didn't go her way.

As she walked into the Great Hall for dinner, she caught Filius' eye and held it, until she reached her seat.

"You can do this. All you have to do is outlast him."

"Where is he? Am I too hasty in thinking that maybe he's run scared?" Minerva overheard and let out a soft snort. Severus had chosen that moment to sneak through a back entrance. He gave Hermione and Filius a stern look.

"So the two of you have been plotting behind my back. I see where your loyalties lie now, Filius." He sat down. If he was plussed, he was doing a good job of hiding it. Minerva leaned over.

"Are you two still fighting over the same thing?"

"Not fighting, having a difficulty in reaching the correct conclusion." Hermione suggested.

"So, fighting. If it's so much trouble to decide, why don't the two of you just stay married?" This earned her two hard glares and an amused look from Filius. "Well that way you could continue using them, as you both please." The hard glares continued. "You know, you might have a fighting chance, if you put as much effort into your marriage as you do into your glares. They don't work on me you know, I've had both of you as students." She pointed her nose in the air, patted her bun to prove that their glares had not upset it, and started her dinner, which had just appeared in front of her.

Minerva was concerned for the both of them, she knew that a few of the teachers were very nervous about both Severus and Hermione's behaviours, since the announcement in the _Daily Prophet_ about the dissolution of the Marriage Law. While she did really believe that they could live out the rest of their days happily with each other, she was no Albus Dumbledore, and would not stoop to manipulating them into such a relationship, as he no doubt would have. She firmly believed that a little bit of time would sort them out, either that or a conk on the head, come Monday morning. Her only problem now, was that she couldn't decide which outcome she hoped for most.

The rest of the meal passed, without fanfare. Minerva continued to glance over at Severus and Hermione and roll her eyes. Filius waggled his eyebrows at Hermione, in what he imagined was encouragement, he was only caught by Severus once, who looked at him bemusedly. Hermione and Severus were determined to irk the other out of the nights' baby making agenda; both of them refused to relent, and so they each whispered increasingly salacious and tasteless comments into each others ears.

Dinner was finally finished, leaving Severus and Hermione facing each other with a hint of nervousness in their eyes. The Great Hall had cleared out, and there were no last minute staff meetings that Severus could call, to stave off the inevitable. He was sure, that if Hermione kept suggesting that he put his 'Flobberworm into her Blast Ended Screwt', there was no possibility of his defeating her. As it stood, her invocation of Hagrid and his beasts would have quashed any of his ardent lust, if indeed there had been any pertaining to her.

Severus offered Hermione the crook of his arm, as gentlemanly as he could muster, and proceeded to walk them out of the dinner hall and towards their quarters. He could feel her steps becoming increasingly leaden, as they approached their door and he smiled inwardly, perhaps this was going to be easier than he thought. He ushered her through first, before following her inside.

"Hermione," he rasped, trying to frighten her a little bit. "It's time." He moved toward her. Hermione put out her hand to stop him.

"I thought you were kidding, you cannot be serious Severus. Just a few days ago you were exhilarated at the thought of being a free man, and now you've suddenly changed your mind? I simply don't believe you; don't think that I don't know what game you're playing at." She huffed. Severus was frozen in place, where her hand had stopped him. At her comment, he gave her a feral grin.

"My darling wife, if you cannot find it in you to fulfil the purpose of our marital agreement, I'm afraid you will have to release me from its bonds. I completely intended to hold you to your word. Who knows, you might even enjoy it." Hermione opened her mouth to admit defeat, but the thought of having to restock an entire private potions store and steal back her priceless tomes, was too much for her to bear. She decided to up the ante, just like Filius had suggested. She mustered the Gryffindor courage and pride within her, and opened her mouth to start again.

"I intend to enjoy it." With that she scrunched her hand into the front of his shirt and pulled him close, licking the line of his beaked nose. Severus flinched. "I want to cover your entire face," Hermione whispered, as she finished heavily tracing his cheekbone with her tongue and reached his earlobe. It was all she could do, not to laugh at his reaction. She fancied that, if she weren't breathing so heavily because of the effort of keeping her tongue out of her mouth, she could have heard the gears turning in his head.

"I'm not candy to be suckled on, Hermione." Severus pulled away from her grasp and her tongue, which was wending its way through one of his long locks. "If that's how you would actually carry on, you're insane." Hermione looked sheepish, and Severus tried to keep the expression in his mind for posterity, before he roughly scooped her up, took her into their bedroom and unceremoniously dumped her onto his bed and clambered on top of her. Hermione squealed and tried to push him away again.

"I can't!"

"Admit it, you lose." She shook her head.

"No, I mean, I need you to romance me. Don't you have a nice poem you could read to me? We're sober after all." She smiled, she was getting closer to where she wanted him. A few more suggestions, and he would be ready to concede anything to her, to make her stop.

"What kind of man would bring poetry into the bedroom with him?!" Severus demanded. Hermione slipped her hand into her pocket and retrieved a sonnet that Filius had passed discreetly to her, before he left the hall, after dinner. She passed it to Severus. He looked at it briefly, scrunched it up, and threw it over his shoulder. "I'm not reading that to you. It's mortifying. Just get naked, so we can make this baby, it had better be a son, too."

"I love it when you boss me around, Severus. I want to be at your mercy!" Hermione wrapped her legs around him and brought him closer to her, although this time, Severus made sure that he kept his face from being licked by her. One irksome time was enough for the night, possibly for a lifetime, at one point he had been sure that she was contemplating sticking her tongue into one of his oversized nostrils. She tugged at him again, "Why won't you let me lick you?" She asked sweetly.

"It's not my face I want you to lick." Hermione chose to ignore the comment.

"Do you want to play a game?"

"Isn't that what this farce is?" Severus rolled his eyes at Hermione, who had the temerity to appear a little hurt by his comment. "What? Do you need me to conjure a bottle? A game of Twister? That's the sort of ridiculous idea you were heading towards, I bet on it."

"I was thinking of a more dirty game. It's a talking game." She paused for effect. "We each take turns to say a dirty euphemism describing our sex organs." Hermione smiled as lustfully as she could. Severus balked. Whatever talking to Filius had subjected her to earlier in the day, had done the trick.

"I'm not really that verbose. We'll just have to continue my way. No foreplay. I won't need it."

"Well of course you won't," she emphasis the 'you'. "You've got me beneath you, I at least look the part. You however, you do not look the part." Severus scowled.

"And what do you intend for me to do?" There was a devious glint in Hermione's eye, but Severus did not notice. Hermione blushed and said nothing. Severus sighed as she turned her head away slightly. "Out with it. Do you need me to blindfold you or play music; do you need a diagram? I have the necessary parts, I assure you."

"It's not that. It's nothing really."

"Obviously it's something. I'll give you one final chance to blurt it out, or we continue my way. Or, you surrender."

"Polyjuice!"

"And who did you intend for me to be?"

"Ronald Weasley." Hermione blurted, barely able to suppress her mirth and her pleasure with her ingeniousness. Severus was livid.

"You expect me to impersonate that red-headed twit?! That's it, no more talking!" He waved a Nox over the lights, and kissed her on the mouth, to shut her up. He was tempted by the idea of French kissing, but before he dipped his tongue into her mouth, he thought the better of it, if she bit him, he would have to concede.

The both of them, fuelled by their desire defeat the other, and their own stubbornness, continued the charade, until it ceased to be and commenced to be the real act itself. Still unwilling to concede defeat, they pressed on into completion. Afterwards they laid in Severus' bed, side by side, breathing heavily. Hermione waited for Severus' breaths to slow, before she ascertained that he had fallen asleep. She stole out of his bed, headed towards the bathroom, cast a Contraceptus on herself and started to get ready for her meeting.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Hermione stood outside their bedroom, with her ear at the door, listening for any changes in Severus' breathing. Satisfied that there weren't any, she spoke.

"Severus, you sleepy git." No response. She smiled and headed into a room behind the office, which housed their floo connection. She stuck her head into the grate and called for Filius' office, to inform him that she was leaving. She then got completely into the fireplace and called for the Three Broomsticks.

As she stepped through the grate on the other side, Rosmerta quickly dusted the soot off her shoulders, and ushered her toward another room.

"I almost thought you weren't going to come."

"Something came up, but I wouldn't have missed this, it's too important."

"I know, but just so we're clear, he will never find out that I was involved. Promise me." Hermione nodded at the older woman and took a seat in the proffered chair.

"Now, let me introduce you to Amelia Lanstone, she's a friend of mine who agreed to help. I know you said 'red hair and green eyes', but you gave me a day's notice. She was the only one I could think of." Amelia smiled. Hermione thought that she was beautiful, and it wouldn't have mattered if she had purple hair and orange eyes, the evenness of her features, still would have made an impression on any man.

"Are you going to continue to talk about me in third person, Rosy?" She raised an eyebrow challengingly at Rosmerta and then turned to shake Hermione's hand. "I'm Amelia."

"Hermione, nice to meet you."

"Okay, so let's hear your plan; trying to get your husband to jilt you, that's a new one. Am I to run interference then, get some tasty evidence, for you to show to the Ministry fool, who's in charge of the whole affair?" Hermione smiled in spite of herself. When she put it that way, it did seem very childish and immature.

"My husband knows that I'm trying to sabotage him, so it won't be that easy, but having said that, he is just a man. You don't have to go too far with him, just enough so that it looks to other people, that there had been a deed done." She gave Amelia a meaningful look, willing her to understand. Fortunately she wasn't one of the empty-headed first-years and cottoned on straight away. Amelia smiled and urged Hermione to continue with the rest of her plan, which she did in earnest, laying out all the details, until the culmination on Monday morning, when Kingsley and the Minister, would be making their appearance. At the end of it, Amelia and Rosmerta laughed.

"You are positively evil, my dear."

"You don't even have to reward me, I'll do this for nothing." Hermione gushed and thanked the red-headed woman. The women laughed some more at their plan to pry Severus' fingers from Hermione's library and stores. Moments later, the floo was activated again, and all three women rushed into the other room.

"He's stirring Hermione, you'd best get back soon," Filius looked around the room. He greeted Rosmerta and looked at Amelia. He was taken aback as it dawned on him what Hermione was going to do. He turned back to her with a stern look. "If you pursue this people could get hurt, Hermione, and I don't just mean Severus."

"You said to up the ante Filius, I'm upping it."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." With that, Filius' head disappeared. The three women hurriedly decided to meet the next morning and take Amelia to the castle, it would serve as their first annoyance: the uninvited guest.

TBC.

* * *

_The next chapter, in which we conclude, will be posted soon, well, at the very least, within the next ten days, if not sooner._

_A/N: As always, please read and review. Liked it? Hated it? Wanted to take a ride on some Pterodactyls and hurl stones into the sea? Let me know =)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly._

_A/N: This is the last installment of this story. Thanks to everyone who followed this story, and sorry that this came in after the ten day promise. I adjure you to review and let me know what you thought. Cheers, ;)_

* * *

**A Formidable Adversary**

**Act Three**

Hermione stepped through the floo once again, into the office that she and Severus shared. She cast a quick silencing charm on herself and rushed to throw off her travelling clothes and clamber into her nightie and finally, into her bed. She released the silencing spell just as Severus began to stir again. This time, he got out of bed completely – for there was no elf, or Filius, to compel his half awake mind to stay asleep.

Hermione regulated her breathing as best she could and waited for Severus to go back to bed. But he didn't – not straight away at least. He walked over to her bed and stood over her; he leaned in and brushed away a stray tendril of hair with the tips of his fingers and Hermione continued to be shocked at her ability to keep breathing those slow even breaths. Severus leaned even closer, until his lips were brushing against the shell of her ear. He placed one hand over her belly and whispered the Contraceptus charm. He had wanted to annoy her as best he could, but that didn't mean that he would go as far to get her with child.

"Not long now Hermione," he huffed a small laugh and got back into his own bed; Hermione would have sworn that she could still hear him laughing quietly into the night.

The both of them, lost in their own thoughts and plans, soon after fell asleep and woke up the next morning.

When Hermione opened her eyes, the sight of Severus before her startled her, and he grinned widely, startling her even more. When he saw that she was alert, he gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek and she could feel herself blush.

"You should have stayed in my bed last night."

"I could get used to this method of waking up you know."

"And I would be happy to comply every day – once you're round with my child." He smiled and nuzzled her behind her ear. Surely this had to be a part of his own plan, well two could play at that. "Bushy hair and beaks. Maybe I put twins into you last night. Perhaps we could try again." Hermione sat bolt upright and panicked for a moment, before she realised that she had cast a contraceptive charm on herself last night to prevent that exact scenario.

"We have places to be, my dear."

"And who on Earth is expecting the two of us on a Saturday morning?"

"The house elves for breakfast?" she said lamely before adding; "I'm hungry." Severus mentally rolled his eyes, but nevertheless helped her to get prepared. All the while he was staying as close as possible to her and being as overbearing as he could for eight in the morning. As they approached the stairs to go down, Severus took her arm and folded it into the crook of his and steered them into the hall.

Although this breakfast was a sedate affair, Hermione was annoyed. Filius continued to look disapprovingly at her and Severus continued to make light conversation pertaining to the excitement of living a mundane life. Hermione tried to drift off as he continued to describe in minute detail every aspect of the hideously boring future that he had planned for her in Spinners End, barefooted and pregnant. It didn't help that she was unable to shake him for her visit into Hogsmead too.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

After breakfast, Hermione snuck into the bathroom, where Severus couldn't follow, and sent a quick missive to Rosmerta. She needed to let her know that Severus had insisted on accompanying her to Hogsmead.

Severus didn't give her long in the bathroom before he was knocking on the door and asking her if she was having too much difficulty carrying his child. She rolled her eyes and thought that if she didn't have her own plan to defeat him, then he surely would have succeeded in his wish to torment her into submission. His invasion of her personal space was very thorough, and as soon as she stepped out of the restroom, he was by her side again and ready to head into Hogsmead.

As they walked – Hermione's hand again tucked away in the crook of Severus' arm – it began to sprinkle lightly. Severus held Hermione close and wandlessly cast an umbrella shield, followed by a warming charm over them. He mentally smiled at the amount of discomfort he was causing her, especially when she tripped every few steps because of their mismatched strides. It was in this fashion that they walked the entire way to the front steps of the Three Broomsticks.

Once inside, Hermione made quick eye contact with Rosmerta, who brought the two of them some refreshments then proceeded to disappear into a back room. Hermione sat, snuggled uncomfortably against Severus, who continued to ask if she were warm enough and if she had had the presence of mind to protect their unborn child with alacrity. She thanked him and tilted her head to give him a loving kiss on the lips; that did the trick. Severus moved away from her and frowned. Hermione smiled her first real smile all morning.

"No kisses for your wife and child?" she feigned inquisitiveness and leaned towards his again; again he scooted away at the last moment.

"What are we doing here, anyway?"

"Meeting a friend of mine. Is that a problem, dear?"

"No, just curious, my little baby-maker." Hermione huffed. She was about to respond, when Amelia walked through the door and headed towards them. She was stunning and tall, a fact that Hermione noted that Severus did not miss. It was a trait that she was intent on drilling into him for the rest of the weekend. She sat down with her things and gave Hermione an affectionate kiss on the cheek and attempted to do the same for Severus. He however put a defensive arm around Hermione and avoided Amelia.

Hermione made the introductions and soon after they left the Three Broomsticks to tour around Hogsmead, before heading back to the castle for lunch. Severus didn't make any comment about Amelia following them back to Hogwarts, but when they arrived, and Hermione took the liberty of taking her for the grand tour, Severus had his suspicions.

By the time it was dinner, it was obvious to Severus that Hermione meant to keep her friend overnight at the castle to seduce him. Although, how, he was not sure, surely she did not think that he was so weak as to succumb to the beauty in one night.

After dinner they retired to the staffroom, and after a brief staff meeting, Hermione announced to Severus that Amelia would be staying in a room adjoining theirs. The purpose was so that the girls were close to each other – in case they had anything urgent that they needed to relate to one another. That it was not very likely, did not escape Severus' notice. He agreed to it in a surly manner, and Amelia made her apologies. Come to think of it, she had been very apologetic and attentive to his needs all day, but he brushed her off, just like every other time he had during the day. Under the cloak of assumed kindness, Hermione declared that she would check to see that Amelia's rooms were ready, and that the house elves had unpacked her belongings. She left Severus and Amelia alone in the staff room and hoped that Amelia could tempt Severus into something more than silence.

Amelia looked at Severus and decided that Hermione had been correct in her proclamation – that he would be a difficult conquest. Many times, she tried to engage him in conversation, but he pointedly ignored her, so she did the next best thing she could think of and sat there, making eyes at him, and positioning herself to her best advantage. Severus thought she was a beauty of course, but he knew that Hermione was playing him; that thought alone cooled any amorous intent that he might've had towards her, at any point.

Hermione returned to tell the both of them that the room was ready and was disappointed to find that they were both as she left them, sitting miles apart and in complete silence. Amelia shot her a hopeless look and Severus glanced at her in an amused way, she looked back innocently at him before suggesting that they all head up to bed.

As Severus was preparing for bed, Hermione snuck into Amelia's room and cast a silencing spell.

"What happened? Did you get anywhere with him?"

"Believe me, I tried, he wont budge. Maybe he's only got eyes for you, I noticed that he was very near at hand all day."

"I'm sure he knows what we're doing, but he thinks that invading my personal space is going to break me." Amelia gave her a look. "Hey, if you weren't here it would have worked too, he's being extremely persistent and annoying. Did you know he's been asking how my baby is all day?" Amelia laughed and Hermione giggled at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"We've still got tomorrow right? And if that fails, we'll just have to make a huge scene on Monday, if it's big enough, well, we'll make it convincing, don't you worry."

Hermione gave her a brief hug and headed back into her own room, she was shocked at what she found waiting for her. Severus had transformed their two beds into one and had sprawled himself across the centre. He smiled as Hermione came in.

"What is the meaning of this?" she gasped.

"I want to be near you, in case you need anything during the night." Hermione felt like she could tear her hair out, but she refused to admit defeat, she would just have to make the best of it. Perhaps she could take him up on the offer to get her things at night. She frowned as she got into bed and noxed the lights.

In the darkness Severus frowned too. He had thought that she looked ready to crack when she had come in to him laying in the middle of the bed. She had very strict rules on personal space and he had violated them all, as best he could, well except the shower one, but he wasn't about to do that to Hermione. He wasn't that desperate yet. Hermione tried to nudge him onto his side of the bed, but he chose to mistake that nudging as an indication that she wanted to be held, so he reached out to envelop her and she yelped.

"Move over!"

"I did."

"Not towards me, away!"

"That's no way to talk to the father of your child, Hermione. Come closer." Hermione let out a warning grumble, Severus let go of her, but maintained his position in the middle of the bed. Hermione huffed and turned away from him. He turned away from her and gathered as much of the covers as he could, before casting a bubble of silence over his head. He'd made the point that he was here to serve her night-time needs, but he'd be darned before he would actually give up any actual sleep for her.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

The next day dawned and they continued as they had every other morning, to breakfast and beyond, except this morning, Amelia was still at the castle, and to Hermione's pleasure, was still simpering at Severus and determinedly hanging on to his every word. In a private moment, Severus rounded on Hermione in a rage and demanded that she tell her friend to desist. Hermione promised that she did not know what was going on, and admitted to being jealous that her friend had such an interest in him. Severus still didn't believe her, but his ego was satisfied and he let her go.

The rest of the day passed, with Severus still imposing himself in Hermione's personal space, but Hermione made it her goal to leave Severus and Amelia alone as often as she could. Both women were disappointed, that although Severus engaged Amelia in light conversation as Hermione's supposed friend, he had yet to make any romantic overtures toward her. Hermione suggested that she take lead, and they planned her ambush after lunch.

"You know, I can't believe that you would stoop to indicating me in adultery, and all just to get your way." Severus said conversationally to Hermione at dinner time.

"I don't know what you mean."

"She smiles at me all day and recites everything I say to her," he said, indicating toward Amelia with a flick of his eyes. Amelia noticed and smiled at him some more. He groaned.

"Are you accusing my friend of attempting to seduce you, Severus Snape?"

"Yes, and I'm putting you behind it."

"Wow, you certainly think very highly of yourself, then, don't you?"

"It's got nothing to do with how highly I think of myself."

"Well, she's not doing it on my command, so enjoy her smiles, she'll be gone by tomorrow afternoon." Hermione got up to leave and Severus dutifully followed her out.

Back in their quarters, Hermione and Severus sat quietly, doing some work as Amelia observed them, and strategically moved closer to Severus. Hermione had to suppress a giggle, as every time she looked up, Amelia had moved a foot closer to him and he was trying to ignore her as best he could. At ten o'clock she retired to her bedroom, and at eleven Severus left to do his rounds. They weren't really his rounds – as he was headmaster and exempt from them, but rather, he was checking that the professor responsible was doing their job.

Hermione waited for ten minutes after he left, before she snuck into Amelia's room and silenced it once more.

"We're on." They both said excitedly at the same time.

"If you approach him from behind, or in the dark, he'll try and startle you; just don't run away and you should be fine." Hermione patted Amelia on the shoulder and pushed her toward the door.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Amelia giggled nervously as she wandered through the darkened halls, waiting to intersect paths with Severus. All that she was after, was one kiss, maybe even a grope, just enough to prove, or hint, at infidelity. What the girls had joked about being a weekend's work, looked increasingly insurmountable. If she could not achieve her goal tonight they would have to resort to underhanded tactics tomorrow morning, and although part of her would rather not attempt to seduce Severus, another part, more mischievous, balked at bowing out of a challenge.

Hermione had suggested that Amelia start on the third floor, and as she got there, she started to fall into her most seductive walk. It was a little bit calculated, but no more so than the walk of an average woman, who was hoping to lure in some prey, or men, or a man. She took some long even breaths to quell her nervousness and almost stopped when she thought she could hear rustling from one of the adjoining corridors. As she walked she looked down each side passage disinterestedly. It wasn't that she was actually disinterested, but rather that if Severus were standing in the passage, she wanted to put forward her best look of nonchalance.

Not after long, she was rewarded with the sight of Severus walking toward her, down one of those long side-corridors. She smiled and waited for him to approach her. He didn't look particularly pleased, but that would soon change, she was sure. As Severus reached her, he performed a curt salutation and continued on his way. Amelia followed him, matching his stride but still maintaining a seductive sway. When Severus suddenly stopped near a dark alcove, she made her move; after all, she was sleepy and tired of waiting for a better opportunity. She reached out and placed a delicate hand on his sleeve. Severus flinched and looked at her, curiosity burning in his eyes.

The moments hung between them; Amelia attempted to look demure, but after having practically sauntered through their entire meeting, it was understandably a difficult sell.

"I've been waiting for an opportunity like this all weekend."

"You've had plenty of opportunity, if I were your object." Amelia grinned, success was sure.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss Hogwarts."

"I'm sure you'll miss Hermione, too."

"Yes, but perhaps there is something, or someone, that I'll miss more."

"More than Hermione?" Severus quirked an eyebrow.

"It's hard to miss her when we're in constant contact. There'll be things that I want to ask her that I wont feel comfortable discussing with her." Amelia looked at Severus meaningfully.

"If you wanted to know about the castle you could always keep Minerva, or one of the other staff on as a correspondence."

"It's not the castle, but rather the relationships with the inhabitants, that I find I may well miss." She stepped closer to him.

"Well that's a shame, but there's nothing to be done, other than more frequent visits to Hermione and her home." Severus waited, he knew soon enough that the woman would burst with the task that she had chosen to undertake.

"You're too polite Severus, but I will say it, even if you wont perceive my meaning." She looked at him fiercely and continued. "It's you that I'll miss. I just wish that you would give us a chance." She closed the distance between them, but Severus prevented her from kissing him – placing, instead, his hand on her face.

"Ah, and how you reveal yourself," Severus sneered. "Go back to your bed, you and Hermione cannot fool me so easily." He turned on his heel and walked away from her.

"Wait!" Severus rounded back on her and gripped her collar.

"Do not play me for a fool, Miss Lanstone. I know now what you and my wife had planned, and I'm warning you. Get out of my way and don't interfere with our affairs," Amelia was suddenly again, very nervous. "Get out of my sight." This time, instead of turning and leaving, Severus glared until Amelia turned back the way she came and went to meet with Hermione, to tell her of the bad news.

All the way back down the corridor, she could feel Severus' hard eyes, boring into the back of her head. How Hermione had borne it for two years, she could not fathom, but she was suddenly feeling as though she would be unequal to any task that Hermione was bound to have set up for tomorrow as backup. To be honest, the two of them outclassed her when it came to intrigues and pure gustiness. She had been a part of a few silly revenge schemes, where at the end, both parties would act sheepish and have a few laughs at each other's expense, but she had never been part of a ploy between two people, where every boundary was so harsh, where every action was an extreme attempt to push the other over the edge of reason. She picked up her charm, once in her room, and hoped that Hermione didn't have anything planned for tomorrow, which could see her mortally wounded between the feuding couple.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

Monday morning breakfast was a charged affair. Kingsley Shacklebolt and the Minister of Magic, Goodweather, were both making a visit to the school. Hermione was bursting with excitement as they entered the Great Hall, and Severus was sedate. He knew what she had planned and was more than a little disturbed that the conversation that he'd had with Amelia last night, had borne no fruit. The woman seemed still intent on helping Hermione ruin him, and it seemed that there was nothing that he could offer her, well do, that she wanted, or that he was willing to give.

"What's the matter, dear, you seem a little tense, can Amelia fetch you something?" Severus made a face at her as they sat down.

"You know, you seem very relaxed about the idea of you friend, Amelia, doing all sorts of things for me. Aren't you suspicious, or was that your entire plan?"

"She's happy to help out Severus, after all, she feels bad for coming here uninvited. Plus she's an attractive woman, I wouldn't hold it against you if you fall for my friend; just so you know." Severus quirked an eyebrow.

"I could never do that to you, my dear," he sneered as sweetly as he could. Kingsley chose that moment to look over at them.

"I know the minister is not truly expecting it, but have you both made a decision?"

"We're close I assure you." Severus drawled and Hermione grinned widely. She thought that a decision in her favour was definitely on the table, or would be, before too long.

After the minister and Severus had exchanged pleasantries, forced ones on Severus' side, Amelia sauntered in as casually sexy as she thought appropriate for an eight-thirty breakfast arrangement. It was clear that all eyes in the Great Hall were on her, guessing at what she would do and wondering who this beautiful stranger were. There was a collective gasp as she stood at the High Table, between Hermione and Severus.

Severus looked at her disdainfully, but in truth, he was in a state of confusion. It was clear that this was the culmination of the women's plan, but if the whole point of it were to cause a scene, they would be sorely disappointed. Amelia opened her mouth to ask that Hermione give up her seat for her. Severus watched the predictable change of expression on Hermione's face. Before she could utter the words, to effect her rage, Severus vacated the headmasters' seat and offered it to Amelia.

Hermione tried to make the best of the situation and decided that she would take umbrage with Severus' casual way with Amelia. However Severus had pre-empted her again and stood to take his leave of breakfast. Hermione was determined to have an answer for the Ministry before they left, so she followed Severus. This was her last opportunity and she wasn't about to let him walk out the door. She followed him down the aisles of bemused students and he let her fall into step with him.

When they reached the doors Hermione leaned close to Severus and looped her arm through his. He dropped his arm and brushed her off. She huffed and Severus looked at her disdainfully.

"There's no show to put on, and I'm not going to hold your hand in front of the entire school."

"Doesn't mean you can't act the gentleman."

"I can wait until we're outside, if I wanted to act." Severus held the door open for her to pass through, and when she stood immobile, he waved her through impatiently. Hermione took a step toward Severus, smiling, as he narrowed his eyes. "What do you have planned now; was the ploy of infidelity not enough?" Hermione shook her head and took another step. "Admit defeat. If a beautiful woman couldn't defeat me nothing will. I am resolute." Even to him, it was said a little too hastily. Hermione took another step and Severus stepped back.

"Are you afraid?"

"Don't be preposterous, we have places to be."

"Admit defeat."

"Never. I've not been defeated." Severus made to move through the open door. Hermione shook her head and grasped his collar, using it to pull him back through the door. "Unhand me," he snarled.

"Last chance, admit defeat." Hermione narrowed her eyes and leaned closer. Severus closed his hand around hers and attempted to tug hers off his collar. Severus was physically stronger than Hermione, so it was only a matter of time; but she was determined to hang on. She shook her head again. "You forced me."

Severus shook his head imperceptibly and Hermione nodded, before she closed the distance between them, and planted her lips onto his. Her free hand reached behind him, and she tangled her fingers in the locks at his nape, preventing him from escape; which he was very obviously, attempting to do.

Even as Severus put both hands on her shoulders and tried to push her away from him, she pressed closer. The gasps of the students and the teachers were not enough to convince Hermione to let go just yet. Hermione pressed the entire length of her body against Severus and moved her lips over his once more, before she released him. She didn't make an attempt to step away from him, though.

Severus wiped the dazed expression from his face, but even as it hardened over, it was chased away by a softer countenance. Severus leaned closer to Hermione, and she tipped her head anticipating his mouth on hers. Hermione exhaled a sigh of disappointment when he bypassed her mouth, and when she felt instead his breath drifting in her ear, her breath caught.

"You my dear are a formidable adversary." Severus purred and turned Hermione around, guiding them both beyond the oversized doors of the Great Hall. As they exited, Severus glanced back and smiled at the sight of the shocked faces that they left in their wake.

*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*`-.­­_,'*

At the end of it all the Snapes decided not to file their divorce papers. Several, if not many or most, of the onlookers were surprised, as they had assumed that the Snapes would be among the first to do so. Kingsley, convinced as he was that he had insider knowledge of their split, had even visited the castle a few more times since their public display to enquire after their settlements. They had informed him, of course, that they had changed their minds. He thought it was another ploy on both sides, obviously.

The wizarding world continued to remain mostly dumbstruck, even after the birth of the first and then the second of Severus and Hermione's children; some going so far as to suggest a discrepancy in the paternity, but never in the vicinity of either of them. Minister Goodweather was pleased that his policy baby was working, because although the law was repealed, many couples ended up staying together. A post war connection and familial bonds were enough to keep many going strong and sane. Prejudices remained, but they were softened ever so slightly and that was enough for a beginning.

Things at Hogwarts however, did not settle down as one would expect. That the Headmaster and the finicky Potions Mistress were actually in love was news that was difficult for many to digest. Both the teaching staff and the students were finding it difficult to retain composure in the wake of their hand holding and closeness. Many were caught with their mouths hanging open, or throwing themselves through doorways, to escape the presence of the couple. To add insult to injury, Minerva and Filius never stopped claiming that they had been instrumental in bringing the two together; and they preened and fawned for all they were worth.

Years had rolled by and it became very clear that Hermione and Severus were determined to stay together and build a very scary and gifted family. Minister Goodweather and Kingsley Shacklebolt had often mused that although it was an annoyance, when the law was enacted and Severus and Hermione were clearly recalcitrant subjects, the current reality, was even more fearsome. The idea that two war heroes being congenial and underhanded with the Ministry was easier and less frightening to follow, than a reality where two fearsome war heroes were having sex and enjoying it.

~ Fin ~

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_A/N: Well, that was it. Hope you liked it, either way, let me know; reviews make my day ^_^_


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